How this one thing helps you become a better leader and helps your team and clients form a lasting loyalty and connection with you.
What would it take to build a better team and connect better with your clients; your people?
The answer to this may be more primitive than calculative.
In the day and age of “big data” focusing on our primitive needs may be the difference maker in your leadership and impact creation.
So, when it comes to establishing loyalty and better connection with your clients and team, one of the things you want to focus and invest more time and energy in is creating more of this one thing:
Are you ready?
It’s creating safety for your people.
Making them feel safe enough to feel like they belong with you. Making them feel like they’re cared for. Ensuring they feel safe around you and in your company to be themselves, and trust themselves and of course you more.
Sounds too intimate?
Guess what, this is exactly what people are craving more and more of in the day and age of digitization and automation.
So how do you do that?
The answer is in how our brain processes things.
There are no secrets. It’s simply how you make them feel when they interact with you.
Do you make them feel at ease, instead of in defence and survival mode?
You see when people interact with each other, there’s so much going on chemically and energetically. There’s a lot of processing happening in our brain i.e. amygdala that isn’t visible to us. Amygdala is an almond shaped tiny part of our brain responsible for processing environmental cues, emotional responses based on those cues like fear and pleasure, and involvement in decision-making around behaviour and memory formation that can last for longer periods.
Here’s a real life example:
A few of days ago, I was at the receiving end of a very poor (#rude) customer service by the staff at my doctor’s office. As I reflected on why it immediately caused a defensive (self-protective) reaction in me - and even a consideration to change my doctor - because the last few times I went there I felt this at a subtle level; specifically with my own doctor. I felt rushed through my annual physical exam, and completely dismissed when I shared some concerns I had related to my health. So, I walked into my doctors appointment this week, fully intending to let her (my doctor) know that I am “breaking up” our doctor-patient relationship.
When you feel unsafe, you jump into survival mode. When you feel safe, you connect and build trust.
This was me in my survival mode. What happened next completely shocked me, and the guard I had put up went down immediately. My doctor walked into the room with a warm smile. The first thing she said to me was “I am sorry about what happened this morning with the staff” With that, she opened the floor for me to share my concern about the incident. She listened, understood, validated, and accepted my concerns. And, even addressed the concern she had missed at my last visit.
In a matter of a few minutes, I went from wanting to “break up” to feeling cared for and listened to.
Human beings might be complex structural beings, but what we all want is essentially very simple.
To feel safe and to belong.
Fundamentally, we all want the same things.
At our core, we all want to belong, to be cared for, be heard and loved. We long to be recognized, to be fully expressed, to be freed - and, liberated. On the outside this may look very different, but beneath all the layers it’s quite universal.
So I leave you with this question and something to reflect on:
How can you establish more safety in your interactions with your clients and your team?
Observe your own experiences. Understand what makes you jump into survival mode, and what creates safety for you. It doesn’t take grand gestures to create moments of safety and trust. It’s often done in small moments that may even seem insignificant.
If you want to lead and impact people, forget about the leading, and focus on creating a container of safety, trust and belonging. People are loyal to where they feel like they belong.
Want to share your thoughts and continue this conversation? Write to me here.
Harjot Mann, MD
Mindset & Leadership Coach
References: This post inspired by The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle.